The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize