Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
