I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love having hate sex.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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