my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
