Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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