my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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