Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have feelings that need drinking.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
