when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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