At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
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She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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