Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
