so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
