I can text with my tongue
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
