All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
