I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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