how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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