Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
