My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
