id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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