She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
