she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
