She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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