No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
