worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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