He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Even my vagina gasped.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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