My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
