I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
