and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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