I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
