i was born a porn star she said
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
