thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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