He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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