Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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