I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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