how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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