I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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