Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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