oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
