Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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