The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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