On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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