Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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