did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
