There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
