But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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