Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize