I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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