i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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