i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
