The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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