well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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