Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
be right there i have to get my cape
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
