bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
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I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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