so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
