remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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