I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize