1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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