An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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