capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
