is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
