She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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