Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you never un-have a 4some
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
