i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
last night I used snow as a chaser
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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