How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
